Progress

Woohoo! Today is a big day. I jogged the whole 1.25 mile loop at Shelby Bottoms! Did. not. stop. The fact that I jogged is important, but more important is the challenge. And the not stopping. That's huge for me.

Something is slowly changing in me, a mental shift in a good direction. I was almost overwhelmed this morning walking around the loop again. Amazed by the beauty around me, feeling like I was walking in my own movie...that pivotal scene where you look back and see where you've been, and look forward and know you'll make it. And as I stretched and breathed and took in the sun glimmering on the water and the blue sky and the breeze...well, I can't really describe it. Walls are breaking down.

I'm slowly learning to make time for myself, and coming from a long line of amazing, self-sacrificing, serving women, that's hard. Who wants to take care of themselves? It's so much more fulfilling to take care of everyone else. But I'm slowly seeing that I could become the person I've always dreamed of being. I could enjoy things others enjoy. I could stop living in fear. I could be the biker, hiker, runner, swimmer, climber. I could take this mess I've become and let myself be transformed inside and out, and it truly does start inside, out.

I think this thing I'm feeling is something like...hope.