Rudolph's Red Nose Run

I'm officially registered for Rudolph's Red Nose Run 5k! It's December 4th at 6:30 pm. Anyone want to join me?

Gatlinburg

This weekend was SO great. Nine China friends got together in Gatlinburg to catch up and encourage and LAUGH. It was so refreshing and fun that I really and truly didn't want to leave. It was so great to be surrounded by people that you really only know through China...people who had so many similar, hilarious experiences as you did, and people who have big, gaping China holes in their hearts just like you do.

Friday night we just chilled and caught up. Saturday, to prove my undying love to Beth, we went to the Christmas Place, a huge mega-Christmas superstore, had some Santa blend coffee, and enjoyed the beautiful weather. Then we met up with the rest of the group for a wine tasting, then off to Gatlinburg for a most hilarious Western picture. (Fish nets + boxer shorts + corsets = Classic Gatlinburg souvenir). We headed back to the cabin for dinner and hours of youtube watching. (Watch 'Celine Dion is amazing.' It will change your life...at 1 am anyway)

Sunday we had our Family time. It had been so long since I sang in a group like that...since China I guess. Of course, I cried when we sang some songs ... the ones that zap me right back to Brad's apartment with some of the most amazing people I know. We cried and shared and encouraged one another. We had a pretty good spectrum of time people had been back, from 3 months to 17 months, so we were able to share the wisdom we've gained, or the things we are struggling with. We vowed to make meeting together something regular, and to continue to lift up and strengthen one another while we're apart.

It's amazing to me that the majority of the people there this weekend I'd probably seen fewer than 10 times. But how incredible that it feels like we've been friends our whole lives!

We.always.have.China.

I am so thankful for the chance to be refueled, to have my cup back to overflowing.

We're even having a China Thanksgiving, which thrills me more than you know! And now we can show off our real turkey-cooking skills, without a 5-hr bus ride, a duck rotisserie, and people gasping at the size of that unnatural bird! How boring. :)

Progress

Woohoo! Today is a big day. I jogged the whole 1.25 mile loop at Shelby Bottoms! Did. not. stop. The fact that I jogged is important, but more important is the challenge. And the not stopping. That's huge for me.

Something is slowly changing in me, a mental shift in a good direction. I was almost overwhelmed this morning walking around the loop again. Amazed by the beauty around me, feeling like I was walking in my own movie...that pivotal scene where you look back and see where you've been, and look forward and know you'll make it. And as I stretched and breathed and took in the sun glimmering on the water and the blue sky and the breeze...well, I can't really describe it. Walls are breaking down.

I'm slowly learning to make time for myself, and coming from a long line of amazing, self-sacrificing, serving women, that's hard. Who wants to take care of themselves? It's so much more fulfilling to take care of everyone else. But I'm slowly seeing that I could become the person I've always dreamed of being. I could enjoy things others enjoy. I could stop living in fear. I could be the biker, hiker, runner, swimmer, climber. I could take this mess I've become and let myself be transformed inside and out, and it truly does start inside, out.

I think this thing I'm feeling is something like...hope.